the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you

by Patrick Doyle

the reason for the trials and tribulations
of Jesus Christ are not because of
anything that has been told.
the truth is Jesus was a prankster.
he put gunpowder in God’s cigarettes.
when he was a child, God would
go to light up, then it would burst and he’d jump back
in a very Godlike way.
Jesus snickered and God
gave him a talking to.
after numerous incidents
God had enough so
a lot of bad things happened to
Jesus and to humanity,
like that time when Moses got
the shaft from the Pharaoh
and it all resulted in
the bad plumbing job
of the Red Sea, or when
Eve got caught shoplifting
from that transcendental
farmers’ market where Adam
had to sell himself
on the street to pay her bail and there
you have the story of one Jesus Christ.