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the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you

by Patrick Doyle

the reason for the trials and tribulations
of Jesus Christ are not because of
anything that has been told.
the truth is Jesus was a prankster.
he put gunpowder in God’s cigarettes.
when he was a child, God would
go to light up, then it would burst and he’d jump back
in a very Godlike way.
Jesus snickered and God
gave him a talking to.
after numerous incidents
God had enough so
a lot of bad things happened to
Jesus and to humanity,
like that time when Moses got
the shaft from the Pharaoh
and it all resulted in
the bad plumbing job
of the Red Sea, or when
Eve got caught shoplifting
from that transcendental
farmers’ market where Adam
had to sell himself
on the street to pay her bail and there
you have the story of one Jesus Christ.

last time I checked I was still alive

by Patrick Doyle

loving you one
hundred years ago was like the last
living moment of a piece
of birch before it gets
put on another log to
get shattered by an axe.
loving you thirty years
ago was like the last living
moment of a piece of
ash before being
split by a chainsaw.
loving you today was like
the last living moment of
a piece of beech before being compromised
by a wood splitter.