Towards a Theory of Healing

by Leonora Simonovis

At the healer’s home, I stare

Blankly at the colorful pillows,

Cat stretching on the area rug.

Despite her calm demeanor, I feel

Excitement. I’ve never

Found a practitioner who will

Give me the chance to just be.

Help is not something I often seek. Today

I return to my roots, looking for answers,

Just after my 50th birthday,

Keen to understand who I am, why

Longing hides in my chest. Thoughts

Morph into revelations: stop

Numbing the pain, running from it,

Obsessing about the past.

Permission to dream. No more

Questioning, no more

razor words. I sit on the couch,

still but alert.

The healer coos, offers a blanket.

Unwilling to move, I let her

Voice wash over me

Warm and wave-like, soothing.

Ximena is the name my mother wanted for me.

Yielding to my father’s wishes, she gave up

Zest and zeal. Into that void, I was born.