by Ed Sanders
“Much has been made,”
Reverend Corrigan continued,
“of the search for the Higgs boson,
the particle which many physicists claim is
the basic entity which gives mass to ALL created matter!
and which, therefore, is supposed
to be one of the building blocks of quarks.”
“But you and I all know
that quarks have nothing to do with bosons!
Nothing at all! That’s a certain fact!
“You and I know that the Universe is actually made up of
extremely tiny Bibles! (Applause erupts) Hear me!
The little particles that make up quarks and protons
and all the itsy bitsy thingies of Creation
are actually extremely tiny Bibles
with different colored covers
that are spinning right now in subatomic orbit!
“Imagine that! Our cells, and the cells of the Lamb
are all made of Bibles! (Audience on its feet shouting
“You and I know this!
But does the Nobel Prize committee pay any attention?!”
“No!” thundered the 5,000 at the drive-in church.
“We COULD USE that Nobel money
for our Institute of Biblical Microbiology!
But please! Please don’t try, any of you, to hack into
the Nobel website or take it down!
However, you CAN do this! Write to your senators and
congressmen and DEMAND recognition
of Micrometric Bibles!!!”