Insta Surfing

By Stephen Bett

Li•ddle surfer, li•ddle one
Made my heart come all Undone

(Sailor’s gurl, heart’s a twURL)

Teeny–tiny itsy dot fitter–upper
reeled in, bought you by Rreal men
(In my Woody them’s would take you . . . )

Diss ol’ Miss O’ Ginny RE•verse flipped
chic–o–layin’ cutie pie voice print
all over our gooey screens

Do you wuv me, do you wi’dul star–twick one?
(jes’ me & mah Woody)

’N don’ go DISappearing in the gap
there’s have all Rreal womyn gone

Whoa, oh, mercy mercy me
things aint what they used to be . . .

On stage now #FiveSeconds Get•It & Forget•It
please identi•size Rupi Kaur
for Po•it Laur•E•ate
(made 30 mil las’ year!)

Infra–Mincing our way to you,
dear insta read’R . . .

Lie–la–lie
Lie–la–lie–lie–lie–lie–lie, lie–lie–lie–lie–lie
Lie–la–lie–lie–lie–lie–lie
Lie–la–lie
Lie–la–lie–lie–lie–lie–lie, lie–lie–lie–lie–lie*

*Beach Boys, “Surfer Girl”; Paul Simon, “The Boxer”; Marvin Gaye, “Mercy Mercy Me”; as good an estimation of these ‘identity excl’ Instagram poets as I can see (& time–honoured too): ‘“stop deceiving the uneducated crowd / with empty sweetness’ (Metamorphoses 5.308–9) / aesthetically superficial / ethically dishonest” — Joe Safdie, Scholarship, p. 44