Useless Pleas and Admonitions

by Greg Masters

Please don’t bring fast food fries onto the bus.

Vet with PTSD, please don’t confront the nice 20-year-old because he wanted to sit next to you
on the crowded bus.

Please get off your cellphone on the bus, the doctor’s office, the movie theater, the cafe, any
audience situation. How can I convey how disrespectful and inconsiderate it is? What’s the
proper, most appropriate approach so I might be heard and obeyed?

I’m fortunate having friends with whom to dine occasionally. Restaurants, please turn the music
volume down. We enjoy conversing. And play jazz or classical music. Not crap music product.

I don’t care if it’s a perfect child. Don’t bring it to wherever I am drinking wine.

Revered gods of the xxxx people, I implore you with all due respect, please let me win a good–
sized lottery.